Tomato Theology

There is nothing better than a fresh tomato sandwich!

Simple, sweet, and heavenly.

In case you do not know how to make a tomato sandwich, here’s the recipe.

To create that fantastic tomato sandwich you need four things – a tomato, a knife, bread, and mayonnaise.  But please, do not go for ordinary ingredients.

The tomato needs to be fresh, a deep red, firm, juicy, and plump.  You will not find a tomato like this at the grocery store.  It is best if grown at home or purchased from a farmer’s simple roadside stand.  I purchased mine from an organic farmer on Condon Road in Stillman Valley, IL.

The knife needs to be sharp, preferably with a serrated edge.  You want to be able to slice the tomato without having to squeeze it and without letting all the juice run free.  Those juices are a sweet nectar, do not let them loose.  I purchased my knife from a starving college student in the church.  It’s a Cut-co Knife, it cost me $93.  While it was terribly over-priced, it was well worth the investment because it slices tomatoes.

The bread needs to be sturdy.  Do not use flimsy, thin sliced, batter-whipped bread.  Your bread needs character.  It needs to be hearty.  Your bread needs to be able to absorb the tomato’s juices when they are released as you bite into your sandwich.  Otherwise, that sweet nectar will drip on your suit and tie and destroy your bread.  A crusty Italian bread is the best.

The mayonnaise is a deal breaker.  My Mom use to make her own mayonnaise.  It was heavenly.  If you cannot make your own, get some Hellmann’s Real Mayonnaise.  Do not buy any other brand, much less Miracle Drip.  Never taint the finest ingredients with lesser accessories.

From here it is a simple process.  Slice your tomato, thick or thin works.  Spread the mayonnaise on your bread.  Carefully stack your tomato slices on your bread.  Sliced tomatoes can quickly become sliding tomatoes, this is why I prefer slicing my tomatoes thin, they stack better.

At this point you are almost done.

Before you take your first bite in eager anticipation, say a prayer.  You are about ready to indulge in one of the greatest simple pleasures in life.  Take a moment to thank the Lord for providing such a delicacy and for allowing you to eat like a king on the wages of a pauper.

You are ready to enjoy the best lunch ever.

Now for that all-consuming theological question: It’s 7:29 AM, is it too early to eat my lunch?

This entry was posted in God's Blessings, Recipes and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Tomato Theology

  1. Jim says:

    You left out a little fresh ground black pepper — and no, it is never too early!

  2. dh says:

    Pepper? The essence of hell.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s